TopLots Heritage Auctions, a fundraising event for museums in the UK, is auctioning a stay at Chawton Library, with accommodations in the converted apartments in the stables and access to non-public areas of the Great House. Sounds like a great cause and a once in a lifetime opportunity to us–open your wallets and bid generously!

The baseball season is well under way, but here at AustenBlog World Headquarters we’re really just getting started on spring training. Just taking out the Cluebat of Janeite Righteousness, swinging it around, warming up a little. It’s been a while, but the ignorant are still out there, and need a gentle (and, we remind our more squeamish readers, completely virtual) introduction to a clue, with extreme prejudice.

First we have an Austen scholar from the Daily Record spouting off about Becoming Jane.

Such is the level of devotion shown by Jane Austen’s aficionados, that anybody planning to tell the story of the “real” Jane runs the risk of being beaten to death.

VIRTUALLY, bunky. Virtually.

Besides, we would love to see the story of the “real” Jane. Too bad we haven’t yet.

It could all be poppycock

Wait a minute…

It could all be is all poppycock

There, fixed that for you. And, oh yeah…

*beats smug superciliousness into smithereens with Cluebat of Janeite Righteousness*

We don’t know if this is really Cluebat-worthy–maybe just a love tap or two. We are, after all, still in training.

I’ve been enjoying the opportunity to escape into a simpler world through reading some of Jane Austen’s novels, a world where women occupy their time with music, needlework and walks about the grounds; where a single woman going for a ride in an open carriage with a man to whom she is not related is cause for raising eyebrows.

It’s so nice to hear no reference to global warming, the economy or the presidential campaign.

What? You get THAT from Jane Austen’s novels? For crying out loud.

For all the simplicity, the relationships remain true. Love starts with a glance and words exchanged on the dance floor, meets with obstacles and prevails in the end after being tried and tested. Nary a kiss is exchanged until the engagement. What a nice change from today, where people jump into bed with hardly a thought about the consequences.

Oh, yes. Nobody does that in Jane Austen’s novels. *coughWilloughbyElizaCrawfordMariaWickhamLydiacough*

Curiously, the authoress herself even acknowledges that in the previous paragraph. We don’t really have a problem with the article itself, we just find it curious that Jane Austen’s novels are used to illustrate it.

*love tap*

There.

(And this reminds us–we haven’t forgotten about the Golden Cluebats, we’ve just been a trifle busy lately.)

Several Alert Janeites sent us the news that Andrew Davies, “adapter” of several Jane Austen novels for the small screen, was the victim of Dog Rage.

Mr Davies told how he had tried to defend his timid rescue dog Daisy – an adult mongrel who looks like an alsatian puppy – from the snarling bull terriers.

“I drove one of them off,” he said. “I shouted, ‘Go on! Get out of it!’ and sort of aimed a kick at it, which was never really meant to connect, and didn’t.

“The dog got the message and went off. But his owner shouted, ‘Don’t you ******* touch my dog!’ and ran up and headbutted me and punched me in the eye.

“It knocked me clean off my feet. He was a big guy and I am quite little.”

There is no truth to the rumor that said thug shouted “JUSTICE FOR JANE AUSTEN!” as he took down Mr. Davies. No truth at all, because we’re starting the rumor right here.

Since Mr. Davies seems to be recovering well, we wish to sincerely commend him on his defense of his doggie! She looks like a sweetie. Thanks to Alert Janeites Lisa, Patty, Laurel Ann, and Maria L.

Alert Janeite Ellen sent us a link to one in Your Neighborhood Librarian’s continuing series, Fug the READ Poster, in which she snarks the American Library Association’s series of READ posters in the style of the ladies at Go Fug Yourself. Jane Austen herself has her share in the conversation with Miss Knightley…

JANE: Hello, Keira.

KEIRA: JANE.

JANE: How nice to see you again, dear.

KEIRA: Mmm-hmm.

JANE: Dear, your thumb is over my title.

KEIRA: [SIGH]