(with apologies to Cassandra Clare for borrowing her schtick)

Day 1: Rode to Bath. Found lodgings. Went to Lower Rooms. Danced with Miss Morland. Pretty girl, suspect she might have misunderstood the muslin bit. Oh well, it’s not like I’m going to marry her or anything.

Day 2: Rode back to Northanger. Staked two undead in garden after tea. I really am sick and tired of all these vampyres. Totally out of holy water. What kind of Abbey do we live in, anyway, with no secret stash of holy water?

Day 3: Howling ghost kept whole castle up all night. Father sneered at breakfast, “Can’t you do a simple exorcism, Henry? What good has that expensive Oxford education or cushy living I set up done for you? Frederick hasn’t cost me a cent since I bought his commission, except those bills for Madam Dominatra’s House of Lacy Unmentionables. The boy must be keeping half a dozen mistresses by the size of them. That’s my boy!” Mistresses! Ha! That’s what he thinks.

Day 4: Bloody hell. Vampyre hiding behind tapestry, in sliding panel. Staked him, but that was a sneaky one. Might be losing my touch. Perhaps should move to Woodston permanently. Leave for Bath tomorrow. Not a moment too soon.

Day 5: Went to Rooms, saw Miss Morland. Asked her to dance. She said she was engaged, but didn’t dance with anyone until the next dance, when she accepted a troglodyte out of obvious desperation. Looked like an ugly customer I staked in the hermitage walk last year. So did the girl I ended up dancing with, come to think of it. Miss M. definitely misunderstood the muslin bit. Oh well, it’s not like I’m going to marry her or anything.

Day 6: Eleanor came home from Pump Room and teased me about acquiring an admirer. She meant Miss Morland. Hmm. Perhaps she understood the muslin bit after all.

So, Gentle Readers, what did you think of the new film?

ETA: This blog post was made possible by a generous contribution from Period Film Pedants International, who remind you that while Miss Morland would no doubt be delighted to ride in a curricle with Mr. Tilney…THAT WASN’T A CURRICLE.

Screencap for macro ganked from Solitary Elegance, we hope with Heather’s forgiveness if not permission

ARE they all horrid? Our Gentle Readers have judged the latest adaptation of Persuasion and found it lacking; next up, Northanger Abbey.

Several Alert Janeites, alarmed and horrified to find Andrew Davies holding forth on Jane Austen on the front page of CNN (we’re not snarking, you should read the e-mails), sent us a link to this article. We were a little surprised to see so many e-mails about it, as we were fairly certain we had already snarked this particular piece, but alas, no. It’s just that we’ve read it all before.

Her work, Davies argues, “is not just social comedy. It’s about money, struggle for individualism, sex — all the kinds of things that interest us now. People sometimes misinterpret that. Jane Austen is regarded as such a prim writer. Well, she’s not, really. The engine of her plot is often sexual desire.”

Are we all taking notes? Good. (more…)

If our British readers haven’t had a snootful of Sexual and Romantic Awakening yet, catch another adaptation on stage at the Maddermarket Theatre in Norwich.

“This is an opportunity for Austen admirers who will have seen the BBC version to come and see someone else’s take on it,” said Roger.

“And if you’re not a big follower this is the ideal introduction to Austen, and the chance to get a flavour of her work.

“The central issues about how we lead our lives are as relevant today as they were in Austen’s day. Should we control our feelings, or should we just go with the flow? In the novel neither approach proves entirely successful.”

Dan Stevens, currently appearing in a play in Bath, was asked about his involvement in the most recent adaptation of Sense and Sensibility.

Stepping into Hugh Grant’s shoes is a tall order for anyone, but actor Dan Stevens took it all in his stride when he wooed the nation in the recent BBC adaptation of Sense And Sensibility.

Dan played the handsome Edward Ferrars, moving women all over the UK to tears in the conclusion to the beautifully-crafted series.

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen is a tale of two sisters and their fortunate and unfortunate choices in lovers. It was made into a 1995 feature film starring Hugh Grant as Edward and Emma Thompson as Elinor.

“I have not enjoyed a job so much for years,” said Dan. The cast were lovely.” Dan read Jane Austen when he did his English degree, but did not pick up anything of hers again until getting the part of Edward. It was a reminder of how much he enjoyed Austen’s work.

He believes the Austen books translate so well into television because she is such a keen observer of people - we still meet her characters walking around today.

“As a female writer, Jane Austen’s primary occupation was to sit and gossip, and we still have a gossip industry today,” he said.

He seems like a lovely boy, but…gossip? Oh, Dan.

The Earthly Delights Academy of Historic Dance is holding a Jane Austen Festival in Canberra, Australia on 16-20 April, 2008. Not much detail on the site yet, but it promises:

Learn to Dance like Jane Austen
Listen to Delightful Music
Make a Bonnet or Tie a Cravat
Join a Promenade & Picnic
Attend a Grand Regency Ball

Contact information is available at the site.