Bring out your Cluebats! TheBookseller.com reports that independent publisher Real Reads will be producing dumbed-down versions of all six of Jane Austen’s novels to appeal to tweens ages 8-13.

“It struck us that very few books are aimed at bridging the gap between children’s and grown-up books, and that there was a yawning gap in the children’s market for classics.

So what happens if the kids read “real” Jane Austen novels? Does it stunt their growth? Do they grow hair on their palms? Go blind? What?

“People might say, ‘Not Austen again’, and that’s the point-it’s not just Austen again,

No, it’s not Jane Austen, that’s for sure.

they are beautiful books that will open the classics up for young people and adults with little time on their hands. They are paperbacks with a dust cover that can be taken off, meaning that adults can read them in public without fear of being seen to read a children’s book.”

Wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute. Why in the world would an adult have to read a dumbed-down version of Jane Austen’s novels? Don’t we have Andrew Davies for that?

*beats Dumbed Down books into shreds with Cluebat of Janeite Righteousness*

Oh, and you kids get off our lawn!

This is very exciting news! Alert Janeite Caroline wrote to tell us that Pride and Prejudice is one of the ten finalists for Best Foreign Language Novel in the Netherlands. We’re not sure if the linked site is for voting, but if it is, vote early and often, as we say back in the ‘hood!

…this article, which jumps on the coattails of the new Sense and Sensibility adaptation to compare the complementary personalities of the Dashwood sisters to modern politics. We are the first ones to say that Jane Austen Is Universal, but don’t push it.

Our Janeite Spy reported that she was flipping through the channels and saw Patrick Warburton, whom you might remember as Puddy on Seinfeld, and stopped to see what he was up to. He has a new program called “Rules of Engagement” along with David Spade, and the Spy was, unsurprisingly, astonished to hear Jane Austen’s name in such company. The scene, as reported, went a little something like this:

Puddy’s* wife on the show: The Jane Austen movie starts at 7:15.
Puddy: I’ll be asleep by 7:20.
Puddy’s wife on the show: I really want to see this movie.
Puddy: Forbidden love in bonnets. Awesome.

*Sorry, he’ll always be Puddy to us.