Another item in the Gallery of Unfortunate But Hilarious Jane Austen Novel Cover Art
Cub Reporter Heather L. found this on eBay and sent it to us a while back. This looks more like it should be the cover of Return to Northanger Abbey: The 25th Anniversary Reunion Special.
(C’mon, surely someone can snark better than that rather lame attempt.)
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:36 am
I am no good at snark, but I suppose we can start with Tilney’s unfortunate unibrow and wrap up somewhere around his disturbingly flat head.
After that, we can marvel about how “mature” (say about 50 years old or so with hair dye) teenagers like Catherine look these days.
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:25 am
“Northanger Retirement Home”
Catherine dares to explore the spooky supply closet in the west wing, only to discover it merely contains bedpans.
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:42 am
What are you talking about? That is the perfect cover! Isn’t Northanger Abbey really a harlequin novel in disguise? The cover is finally representative of what’s inside!
Seriously, though, even the addage “don’t judge a book by its cover” will not protect anyone who picks this copy up. Well, if they can even read the title (who picked those colors and typeface over that background???), this would easily be mistaken for some trash novel.
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:55 am
I didn’t know Laura Bush once did modeling for book covers!
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:00 am
“My dear Miss Morland, how do you keep your elbows so soft? At YOUR age?”
“Oooh, Mr. Tilney. Can you tell me what eyebrow wax you use to achieve such an extraordinary shape?”
May 2nd, 2007 at 12:27 pm
I actually own a copy of NA with a smaller version of this cover art and it was the first Jane Austen book I ever read. But once getting into the story I realized that the couple on the front must have been like General Tilney and his late wife, or possibly Eleanor and her Viscount, because they certainly aren’t Catherine and Henry!
I mean, come on it’s awful, and did you see where they stamped the “Complete and Unabridged”? No wonder that poor guy is tightly gripping the lady’s elbow and she grimacing in return!
May 2nd, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Check this link for the worst Austen-cover ever:
http://www.kiiltomato.net/?rcat=K%E4%E4nn%F6skirjallisuus&rid=1289
The book is Lady Susan, or “Tahto ja toiveet” - Will and desires - in Finnish. What in the heaven’s name possessed the publisher to choose this particular cover for the first ever Finnish edition of the book I cannot even begin to imagine. The only reason I haven’t checked it out of the local library is the picture - it is just too much
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Check this link for the worst Austen-cover ever
OOOOHHH! For the win! Yikes!
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:33 am
“Miss Morland,” Gorilla!Ken said in dismay, “You’ve split Kool Aid on yourself.”
“Oh, Mr Tilney,” Catherine cooed, “You know how many pills I must take, at my age, and blue beverages just seem so medicinal…. I must admit, however, that I was a bit spooked by your oversized cuffs; they simply seem out of place, in this tacky, faux-Classical bathroom.”
He smiled. “At, least, Miss Morland, you did not comment on my oddly flat and oh-so-white groin. I assure you, I am complete and unabridge.”
“Mr Tilney, you are pure silliness…. Now, have you seen my hair dye? I thought that I left it on the plastic tabletop here, and I did so want to cover the grey streaks in my hair, before the ball began.”
“Do not worry, madame. No one will be looking at you; they will all be staring at my forehead.”
Catherine blushed. “I must admit, I was wondering what had happened to it…. Did you have a very bad experience with Botox?”
NB: Best I can do. LOL at “soft elbows.”
PS: *shudders* Ellen Degeneras and fuscia do not mix, and neither has a place on a Jane Austen cover.
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:54 am
As we say in Australia - CRIPES!
May 3rd, 2007 at 4:58 pm
“…you did not comment on my oddly flat and oh-so-white groin. I assure you, I am complete and unabridged.”
ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 5th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
*ggggggggggg*
May 5th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
And here is a German version of P&P:
http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/345834330X.03.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
May 6th, 2007 at 2:49 am
I remember seeing another cover for Northanger Abbey that played up the ‘gothic’ side to the story:
http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/nhabgoth.jpg
the same site had the blurb on the inside that made me laugh:
http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/nabgoth2.gif
May 6th, 2007 at 11:35 am
If paraliterature can be counted, take a look at the cover art for the Maya Slater version of Darcy’s Diary, which is now up on the Amazon UK site. I would put in a link but I can’t figure out how to do it without also linking my 1-click details. The drawing of Darcy playing peek-a-boo with the eponymous volume and flourishing a pen apparently made with an ostrich feather and more the size of a fan gives the impression that, to put it delicately, he is more in touch with his feminine side than one usually imagines him to be.
May 6th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
It’s the same as the US version, which is linked from the sidebar in Upcoming Books–I forgot to put it in my New Books Roundup last week. Ha ha! That’s hilarious. It’s chick lit, I guess they don’t know how to do a cover without making it girly, even when it’s got a male protagonist.