In search of Mr. Darcy
Alert Janeite AmandaJ sent us a link to a blog post at The Age in which the author claims that women are so busy looking for Mr. Darcy that they are overlooking the more average blokes.
Yet you’re probably wondering who the heck this Mr. Darcy character is.
Well, no, not really. 
Well for a start, he’s Jane Austen’s fictional 1812 character from Pride and Prejudice; he’s tall, dark, handsome and charismatic. Yet he’s also known to be moody, arrogant, haughty and above all, unattainable. (When he first meets the gorgeous Elizabeth Bennet - think Keira Knightly
We’ll think Elizabeth Bennet, thank you very much; and how do you know she’s gorgeous?
- he refuses to dance with her at the ball, noting that “she is not handsome enough to tempt me” within her hearing. Is he blind?)
No, just cranky. We can sympathize. 
Yet out on the weekend, it seemed increasingly clear that women everywhere were inflicted by the syndrome. At chic pubs across town cries of “Where is my Mr. Darcy?” could be heard as women sipped on their vodkas and ticked off the names of all the toxic relationships they’d recently endured. One friend rattled off her horrific list to me: “Fred was gay, Pete was a workaholic and Clive was married. So, how do I find my Mr. Darcy?”
AHA! There’s a clue. They list what they DON’T want…and then what they DO want. My Mr. Darcy. In other words, the fellow who complements us, who completes us. Our soul mate. And what’s so wrong with that?
(Besides, some of us are actually looking for our Henry Tilney. And he’s taking his sweet bally time about it, let us tell you.)
What do you think, O Gentle Readers?
September 13th, 2006 at 12:25 am
I read the article and I can’t imagine why it’s unreasonable to see an unattainable workaholic as Mr Wrong. why should women settle for second best?
As for the idea that Mr Darcy is unattainable–I don’t think he is. He’s rather shy and unable to mix easily in company and I think envies this quality in Lizzie. And as for comparing Mr Big with Mr Darcy. I didn’t like his character as I thought him a glib womaniser who kept Carrie hanging on. Thatis not Mr Darcy at all.
Price and Prejudice might be one of the most widely read pieces of literature, but unfortunately it’s also one of the most widely misunderstood.
September 13th, 2006 at 8:10 am
Wow! This is amazing!
So this writer suggest we should be more like Charlotte Lucas, we should take the first ‘thing’ we see available….At least, Charlotte was a fictional character, she was intelligent and she was able to get a room of her own, but, we, real women? Will a second ‘best’ :p, be able to stay in his garden or with Lady Catherinte DeBourgh and leave us free?
I know that getting a Wentworth, Tilney, Knightley or Darcy is very difficult, first of all, because they were part of a very intelligent women’s wit, but we must hope for a second soul, someone who can be happy with us and we happy with him. It is hard, but it is not impossible. We do not want impossibles, we just need respect and love, among other important things which makes world go round. And we all know that it is not bad.
PS: Keira gorgeous? Well, it is just writer’s criteria…
September 13th, 2006 at 11:10 am
If they are using “Mr. Darcy” as an all-encompassing term that refers to someone who completes you or is well-suited to your disposition, then by all means search away. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that. However, I find it interesting that in several of Jane Austen’s romantic scenarios, there is always one person mucking up the love because they think someone else (or the idea of someone else) is a better catch. Lizzy first fancied Wickham, Emma liked the idea of Frank Churchill (though she got over it quickly), Wentworth opted for Louisa for a bit, Edmond was smitten with Mary, Marianne was all about Willoughby, Edward was engaged to Lucy, and so on and so forth. Now here we are in modern times, reading an article about women who think Mr. Darcy = Mr. Right. And if they’re thinking that because they want a carbon copy of the character (in the book or as played by Colin Firth, Matthew MacFadyen, etc etc) because he was such a perfect match for Lizzy, then they’re potentially making the same mistakes as the characters listed above.
While I would prefer a Mr. Tilney of my own
I may be better suited with a Mr. Knightley or (heaven help me) an Edward Ferrars. So instead of using my favorite Austen hero as a litmus test for whom to date, I would be better off keeping an open mind and find someone that best suits my personality. Then I can decide which Austen hero he most resembles. And that’s not saying a person should settle with second best. That’s just saying don’t assume you know what’s best because you might waste time looking for something that’s already there. How Hallmark-moment is that thought!?
September 13th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
I don’t know ladies and gentleman. I just don’t know. Sure, it would be completely fabulous to have Darcy rescue me at my every whim, though I am not sure that I am as strong willed and quick witted as our dear Elizabeth Bennett. But I also see in my reasoning, why my fellow single ladies aren’t finding Mr. Darcy, because we are not (as much as we would like to be) Elizabeth.
I am not sure if anyone is up to date with the latest of Broadway musicals, but in the rock opera, “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”, there is a song that I like to think about, I am paraphrasing, that in the Earth’s beginning, life partners were one until the gods decided to split us in two, so that we have to search the world for our other half. And it gives me that glimmer of hope that my other half is out there waiting for me, though I do wish he would look a little harder! Hopefully much like Capt. Wentworth, without that whole long split up!
Oh, by the way, I have met a male contemporary Charlotte Lucas…at 29, he decided that if he waited any longer to get married, he would be too old, so the next girl he dated, he was engaged to in 3 months, married 6 months later. I am a little worried now, if that is what the standards are with men, what are the new standards for women?
September 13th, 2006 at 4:05 pm
I was very insistent for a long time(and perhaps still doe) that the only man I would ever marry would be Darcy (having never found Darcy I have never married and instead have my Pseudo-hubby and a beautiful 8 month old daughter). I am certainly no Elizabeth (definitely a Bridget). I think women should look for a Darcy, someone to challenge them and bring them back to reality when necessary. I do think my “hubby” would be far more Darcy-like (and I Elizabeth, like) if we didn’t have to work, didn’t have to cook, clean, could attend balls, etc.
September 13th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
Anyone, either gender, holding out for a fantasy spouse ought to take a good hard look in the mirror. …and uh, er, Darcy is shy?
September 14th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
True Karen 2L, which is why I’ve never looked for a Darcy. I’m shy myself. I think I’d prefer a mixture of Austen heroes. Each of them has qualities I admire. Henry Tilney’s humor, Bingley’s good nature, Brandon’s devotion, Knightley’s wisdom.
Nitpicker that I am, I must point out that Mr. Darcy was not a fictional 1812 character. Pride & Prejudice was published then, but had been written years before, and no doubt Mr. Darcy existed in Jane’s mind before he was written. Some characters are just timeless.