Lori Smith of the blog Following Austen wrote to tell us that the book she has been writing in conjunction with the blog will be published by WaterBrook, a division of Random House, in September 2007. Congratulations, Lori!

Brontëana points us to an interview given by Irvine Welsh, previously featured on this blog as an F.O.J., to a publication rejoicing in the title Dazed and Confused. We know some readers are offended by rude language, so we give you due warning that the publication in question does not indulge itself with little asterisks as we have below.

D&C: I read somewhere that you’re a big Jane Austen and George Eliot fan. Some people might be quite surprised to hear that.
IW: I’ve kind of outed myself recently with that. What I hate is that when we think of Jane Austen, George Eliot, Emily and Charlotte Bronte, people think about Emma Thompson and costume dramas and people talking in these stupid ****ing voices. But it was **** all like that. They’re England’s equivalent of Braveheart: Scots dressing in ****ing tartan. It’s edited exploitation for the American market. People wouldn’t have talked like that, they wouldn’t have looked like that, dressed like that, they wouldn’t have acted like that, flounced around like that. It’s ****ing offensive ****ing marketing, to sell to gullible Americans.

While we are the first to be annoyed by those who insist on making Jane Austen overly twee, we think Mr. Irvine has gone too far in the other direction, perhaps in an endeavor to separate himself from any suspicion of enjoying the occasional costume-heavy adaptation. One imagines all his little punk friends mocking him by wearing bonnets over their faux-hawks and teasing him. “Ooooh, Irvy likes Jane Austen, he wants to wear a long dress and gloves and dance at balllllllls!”

And of course his comments raise the question: so what DID they ****ing talk like, then? Like this, perhaps?

‘Oh! d— ,’ said I, ‘I am your man; what do you ask?’

Or perhaps like this?

“Oh! d— it, when one has the means of doing a kind thing by a friend, I hate to be pitiful.”

Or like this?

“My horse! Oh, d— it! I would not sell my horse for a hundred.”

Why, this must be a character we are meant to look up to! Not like that Mr. Darcy, or that Mr. Knightley, or that Colonel Brandon, or that Henry Tilney, or that Edmund Bertram. NOBODY talked like THEM! John Thorpe is the REAL DEAL!

What are we always saying about extremes? When it comes to Jane Austen, stay away from them. Don’t make us Cluebat it into you, Irv.