Back there again, are we? According to a review of a book on modesty in modern women:

The growing interest in rigid social strictures manifested by the Jane Austen craze tells her that young women are pining for interference as their mothers once pined for liberation, even to the extent of wanting to be nagged and called on the carpet.

Oh, yes. The “Jane Austen craze” doesn’t have anything to do with just plain good stories that speak to women and men from all over the world and all walks of life. We just read them and write about them and spend an hour or more a night posting on this blog about them because we secretly want someone to tell us how to live our life. We haven’t learned anything from reading Jane Austen’s novels, mind, such as learning to trust our own judgment or not to rely on appearances or to think carefully about our actions. We’re just passive receptacles to be pushed this way and that by stronger minds; just like that sweet, demure young lady, Elizabeth Bennet, who wouldn’t dream of decidedly expressing her opinion to someone older and of a higher station, or telling a gentleman precisely what he can do with his very obliging proposal of marriage. Such a nice quiet girl that Lizzy is! And being a rather pretty girl, she’s lucky that Darcy didn’t just ravish her, because she was asking for it, you know.

Tread carefully, writers, when you attempt to co-opt Jane Austen for your own ends, and remember: she does not work for you. Now shoo, before we get out the Cluebat of Janeite Righteousness and start pushing you around.

Such jokers, pretending that this is a real book! We can scarcely write for laughing!

Agitated and angry that Anya should hold such sway over his sister, Darcy summons her to the balcony. In biting words he denounces her, whereupon she slaps him hard across the face. “The one advantage of my sex is the freedom to strike a man with impunity.” But the enmity between them is superficial and cannot long endure. Later that night, Darcy will abandon all propriety and come close to ravishing the beautiful young woman.

An Englishman of wealth and status could never compromise his social position by marrying a woman with a scandalous past. Darcy must have Anya the only way possible. When he is certain she loves him, he asks her to accept his offer. However, the friendship between Anya and Darcy’s sister complicates the matter. “What of Georgiana? Will you allow your sister to visit your mistress?”

The appearance of a rival forces a decision, and Darcy takes Anya as his wife. Finally, this willful woman must submit to him. Without doubt, the marriage will prove to be as tempestuous as the courtship.

Agog with curiosity, we availed ourself of the “Browse Before You Buy” feature; and what do we see in the third sentence of the book?

The heir to Pemberly Estate remained at his father’s bedside until that good gentleman exited the world with seemly dignity.

“Pemberly!” Uncontrollable!Libido!Darcy™! Clearly some jokester is hoaxing us! Very cleverly done, but we saw through it.

(Many thanks to Alert Janeite MCG for the heads-up!)