Good God
A company offering mobile phones to students has hired Professor John Sutherland, professor emeritus of English Literature at University College London, to offer subscribers text message summaries and quotes from literary classics.
[. . .]
Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” soliloquy is rendered: “2B? NT2B?=???”. At the end of Romeo and Juliet, “bothLuvrs kill Emselves,” while Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice concludes when “Evry1GtsMaryd.”
*curls up in fetal position, weeps*













